Two Lips or something

Hi, have you missed me?
Well, I have just been away on a nice weekend, but you'll have to guess where I took Alan and Ann. ('Scuse me WHO took whom?) Oh, well, um, technically it was you, but the fans take it better if I say I took you. (well I'm happy to be the bank and tag along.) Good, that's settled now shut up! (Mmmmmm mmmm.)

I can give you a few clues. It wasn't in Britain as we flew over the sea, but not very far.  It was a city, with lots of canals. They grow flowers there that they're very proud of. Have you got it yet?  No, then read on.  even if the answer was "Yes", read on anyway 'cos it was fun.

On the day we arrived I settled in to the hotel while they went out to reconnoitre (My, that's a posh way to say, out for a dander around and a quick skelly.) What did I say? (Sorry.) The hotel was cosy and it was chilly outside.

Next morning we hopped on a tram and went to a great big museum place with lots and lots of paintings. The funniest one is called The Night Watch. First of all I couldn't see any watches, just people and then it wasn't a night time picture at all.  I prodded Alan and he explained that it got its name when it was all grubby and it looked like it had been painted at night, but now it's been cleaned up and looks much brighter.  Apparently a watch is a number of people keeping watch - a silly name for a group of people, though I suppose there was a mix of long and short hands so they could make up lots of human watches that way. I was worried 'cos this lot seemed to be playing with their gun or drinking, and that's pretty dangerous don't you think? Apparently no-one was harmed and lots of people think it's a lovely painting.

Here I am with Ann, and she looks pretty happy to be there, as was Alan, but you'll have to wait to see him.



Then it was LUNCH time, but I thought to myself, we're not going to get fat on this bare table, but then the help explained that we had to wait for the food. Wait? Wait? I'm a bear, how can I be made to wait? I have to fatten up for winter. (It's spring not autumn.) Details, details, I needed my food.

Eventually a waiter came so we didn't have to be waiters ourselves - Ha, ha, waiters - do you get it? I'm still tittering about that one.  Sorry, ahem, I'll get on with it. Eventually a waiter came - hee, hee  - and brought us some nice open sandwiches and tomato juice and stuff.

It was yummy, but not as yummy as this bar of chocklit.  Can you see the shape. It looks like a little house from this city. Have you guessed where we are yet?

Suitably fed we went back to the gallery for more works of art.  Here I am with a statue. Just in case you can't see me too well in the first photo there's another one below.  I was a bit close to that foot, the merest flick and I'd have been off there.  The help said that it wasn't a live statue, but I've seen them in the street and they have a habit of suddenly moving so you can't be too careful.

All was well and I came out unscathed though it was touch and go. (No it wasn't you drama queen, that was definitely a bronze and quite old too.) You say that, but I think caution is the better part of valour.

Before we left we went to the Asian gallery and very interesting it was too.  The Tate Modern in London has a pile of bricks on display, well, the Rijksmuseum has a block of tea instead and this is me sitting in front of it.  You'd need a great big teapot for that amount of tea.

Outside the museum, we had another chance for a photo call and the next few pictures will show you where we were.

First here are some of the flowers that the country is famous for. Did you know that in the 18th century the search for the black tulip nearly destroyed the economy of the country?  Just like the bankers, idiots speculated on tulip bulbs and built up the price into a bubble that burst and lots of people went bankrupt and the whole population suffered. Humings eh, they never learn! Maybe it's just as well some of thebankers didn't know about that this century, otherwise they'd have given it a try!

Here we are in front of a sculpture that people could play on.  Alan looks happy, but he was only a little, 'cos his Mummy has just died and he was thinking and thinking about what he was going to say at her funeral.

Have you guessed yet where we were?

And now?

Maybe now?

Surely you've guessed by now?

 What do you mean - "No"?

Yes of course, it was Amsterdam in the Netherlands, and that building behind is the Rijksmuseum which has just re-opened after being closed for 10 years for refurbishment.

Time for a look around for the next couple of days, and here are three pictures to show you a few of the sights.  The help took over 500, and I only appear in about 20, 's not fair.

Anyway that was our weekend, we had lots of nice weather, excellent food and wonderful sights, so maybe we'll get to go again.  Watch this space.

Hugs and stuff,

Jock